grad student, layabout, and ne'er-do-well; defender of the oxford comma; enjoys taking tea.
13-07-12: help me, i am in hell.
12-07-12: too hot for knickers and drinking indoors. i'll consent to one and remedy the other.
29-06-12: killin' zombies with captainrocket and jdurynek
24-06-12: veggie dog topped with kraft singles, bbq sauce, sriracha, mustard, potato chips, and fake cheese sauce.
24-06-12: calgary mission complete!
24-06-12: dancing(?) to post-ironic technotronic. the future is bleak, and hot pink leopard print
22-06-12: hangin' with my homegirls
22-06-12: having breakfast with my people: people for whom noon is morning and tall cans of PBR are food.
21-06-12: drinking free scotch in a junkyard while BA johnston serves hotdogs. what?
20-06-12: wrist-banded in cowtown with thai tai in hand. happy sledding!
07-06-12: day 2: haircut, pizza, and the raid, aka
06-06-12: dissertation liberation, day 1: shoes, tacos, snickerdoodles, white russians, batman.
04-06-12: 100th tweet is dedicated to post-dissertation-revision-completion insomnia. i can has sleep now plz?
11-05-12: contrary to popular belief, demolition man's greatest gift to the future is not 3 seashells but that all restaurants are taco bell.
29-04-12: unable to differentiate between working hard and hardly working but certain this introduction isn't writing itself.
27-04-12: snoop is a lady?!?
23-04-12: overheard in edmonton: "the NDP are basically national socialists."
22-04-12: hey kids in neon hats and flourescent windbreakers: it's not a '90s party if no one is wearing docs. also: fuck you.
20-04-12: i p0wn at drunk shuffleboard.
20-04-12: the entire city smells like my highschool boyfriend's hotboxed basement.
19-04-12: it occurs to me that in order to maintain work/life balance, one requires both a job and a life. i have neither.
18-04-12: there's a special hell reserved for university website designers, next to the one for people who affix labels directly to paper products.
15-04-12: miss_crsy remember when we saw
14-04-12: the sparrows are flying again.
11-04-12: a professor once asked me: "do you really need all those semi-colons?" i am addicted to interdependent clauses.
09-04-12: i admire the nihilism of the panda bear. it's hard not to respect an animal that won't fuck to save its species.
08-04-12: my little brother's uncanny resemblance to
07-04-12: saturday. long weekend. perfect blue skies. everything's coming up daffodils and i am inside dissertating.
01-04-12: henceforth, april 1st shall be known as ukrainian st patrick's day.
01-04-12: slept 'til noon on purpose. st patrick may be the patron saint of fratboys and douchebags, but april 1st is their ressurection.
27-03-12: i wish venus, the morning star, the evening star, and satan were still the same thing.
25-03-12: revision is easier than writing. it's transmutation instead of conjuration: less blood from stone.
19-03-12: thank you, old chinese dude at the market singing "like a prayer," for making today awesome.
16-03-12: it's raining, it's pouring, 4am is boring.
14-03-12: does anyone have some time i could borrow? i need about two weeks. i'll totally pay you back in, like, august.
07-03-12: nothing like riding the bus in suburbia to rouse one's latent classism.
06-03-12: painted toenails and think-o tea do not a dissertation write.
26-02-12: jbanal really?
21-02-12: if home is where my books are, i guess i'm about to live in a storage locker.
14-02-12: ruffles tapatìo limòn potato chips.
14-02-12: captainrocket and i observe VD with horror films, beer, and shitty take-out.
06-02-12: my kingdom for another kingdom - one without any dust.
04-02-12: i need a word that connotes romantically rapey rather than malevolently rapey. prurient?
31-01-12: sometimes my footnotes require footnotes.
31-01-12: out-anxietied the ativan again.
26-01-12: sometimes when i'm lying in bed and on the verge of sleep, i can hear the distand sound of a dial-up modem.
14-01-12: i am forever sacrificing clarity for pretty turns of phrase.
12-01-12: there seems little point in dissertation revisions when the world is hellbent on handbasketry.
11-01-12: mac's has a DIY blizzard/mcflurrie machine.
05-01-12: i judge bars based on the spelling and grammar of the washroom graffiti.
01-01-12: woke up in desperate need of grapefruit juice but the fridge only yielded booze. any other day of the year this would be awesome
31-12-11: jbanal *broke* my bottle opener, and was thus forced to open his beer with a hammer.
23-12-11: everyone is extra surly this holiday season. what happened to eat, drink, and be merry?
17-12-11: having no reason to get up in the morning leaves one with no reason to go to bed either.
01-12-11: the best thing about the holiday season is that you can drink in the morning with impunity.
29-11-11: some people clip coupons. i cut out pictures of book covers from publishing catalogues.
28-11-11: chrisnotyoung sleep is for the weak, the old, the sick, and the lame. we are the 1%. we are legion.
18-11-11: i haven't seen this much pubescent facial hair since junior high.
16-11-11: having no reason to get out of bed in the morning straddles a fine line between decadent and pathetic.
01-11-11: i love the smell of cordite in the morning.
01-11-11: i'm occupying hallowe'en.
28-10-11: I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone on the internet that Hallowe'en has an apostrophe.
26-20-11: my kingdom for half-inch purple sticky tabs. also willing to exchange goods and/or services. my sanity demands them.
24-10-11: there's nothing i don't like about eating grapefruit campari gelato for lunch outside at the end of october
17-10-11: drinking "morning after" tea at 5pm suggests i probably shouldn't drink in the afternoon. yesterday.
15-10-11: i will be occupying my desk until further notice.
06-10-11: attn barely-legals in neon lyotards and glowsticks: it looks as stupid now as it did then. #1996
03-10-11: i'd like to wish my brain wasn't wired this way. but really, i just wish other people's brains were wired like mine.
01-10-11: i wish the misfits from jem were responsible for "last caress"
01-10-11: october rusts
30-09-11: hurricane ophelia is a deliciously disastrous monicker.
30-09-11: it's a proud day in my city <3
29-09-11: i just caught the elusive 20 bus.
28-09-11: i'm in love with post-apocalyptic windmills. especially the one atop grouse mountain.
23-09-11: my gas stove/oven is making lighting sounds even though everything is turned off. dear oven: i am not sylvia plath.
22-09-11: will not let the little fuckers generation gap her. hello twitter.